Paige Vidrine

 

Have you ever felt like the problems you’re facing are never ending? Like life is beating you down and there is now way out? Like nothing you do is good enough?

Yea… I’ve been there.

Something struck me after a few years of feeling like this. I realized that my life wouldn’t get better by me crying every night, hoping something would change. I couldn’t complain my way out of depression. No one was coming to save me.

My life changed when I changed my mindset. This is how you do it:

1. Be Intentional: Make a Plan

You have to take responsibility for your future.

You won’t end up with some great career, living the million dollar life just by chance. You won’t even make a decent living that way.

You have to really want something out of life in order to make something of yourself. Once you accept that, you have to make a plan. Setting goals is the first step to achieving anything.

Setting a direction for your life will drive your passion and jumpstart your motivation.

Don’t make excuses as to why you cant choose, what you don’t have, why it’s not the right time. Simply choose. Don’t complicate it.

As much time as you spend on the internet a day, you can take a few minutes to google the subject you’ve chosen. Look up “What does it take to be a ….?”

“How do I start a business?” “How do I become successful?”

The moment you make up in your mind that you are going to stop wandering around aimlessly and you are going to choose, is the moment your perspective in life will completely change.

And remember, you can change your plan at any time. You can adjust as your life may need. Just get going. Build your momentum and watch you life transform before your eyes.

2. Focus

I once heard that there are two dogs fighting within you. One is good and one is evil.  The dog that wins is the dog you feed the most.

You can live your entire life confused or you can search for clarity, and clarity comes through focus and attention.

As your reading this, your attention is being drawn in several different directions. Distractions are everywhere. I don’t blame you!

My advice is that you make the conscious decision to redirect your attention and focus on things that will benefit you, because

the choices you make and the life you live are fed by what you draw your attention to every single day. 

Who do you follow on social media? Think about it. What do you see on a daily basis? How do these things make you feel? If you think it doesn’t affect you, you’re delusional.

Psychologists say that the things we focus our attention on consistently become subconsciously embedded in our minds. 

So, all that mindless browsing is actually affecting your clarity. All of the people you follow are subconsciously influencing your belief systems, thought patterns and perspective on life.

Let me see who they follow on Instagram and I could tell you exactly where you’re headed.

The things you see and read, the drama, the chaos- all of these things affect your peace of mind… No wonder everyone has anxiety!

Set your attention of things that will benefit you. 

 

“Where a Man’s Mind Goes, He Follows.” – Biblical Proverb

So, if you want life to be different, you have to focus your attention on things that will feed your soul.

3. Alter your Attitude

Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude

Your attitude is the fuel for your journey. If you don’t have a good attitude about life, you will get burnt out quickly. 

People underestimate the power of their attitude. My attitude during my depression was absolutely terrible. I complained every day. I would over react to everything. I didn’t care about anyone else. I was selfish.

When I changed my attitude and chose to be grateful every day no matter what, my life changed.

With a good attitude, bad days become bad moments instead. With a good attitude, you’ll give grace to people because you know that you’ll need grace one day. 

With a good attitude you attract everything good that this world has to offer.

Your attitude is everything in life. It’s like a filter for your mind. If you have a good attitude, all of the day’s events are filtered through this “all is well mentality.” If you have a bad attitude, life gets filtered through the “eff this” mentality.

 

You can choose how you want to feel. You just have to really make it a habit. You see, we all go through highs and lows, ups and downs.

We face challenges that can really tank us emotionally. This is normal for anyone. The problem is that some people don’t shake the pain, disappointment and agony they feel in those low seasons.

They feel like enjoying the highs isn’t worth it because it never lasts. So, they take on a negative attitude for so long that it just becomes part of their personality.

If you have been stuck in a negative mentality and want to change, it is possible. It will just take time.

The key to change is the sincere desire to see yourself a different way. The only way you can be a happy person is if you stop despising happy people.

The key to not holding onto the lows is by expecting them, seeing yourself overcome them, and letting them go as quickly as they come.

You’re riding the wave of life. Stop trying to build a house on water. Just accept that nothing will ever be controlled, unchanging and perfect. Embrace every season with a “I came to win” attitude.

4. Affection

Do you even know what affection is? I mean honestly, I don’t know one person that actually feels comfortable when you try to give them a hug these days.

It’s so weird because science and spirit both confirm that the human race is, by nature, social creatures, yet no-one can socialize properly.

So, lets get real here. What are your basic emotional desires? Forget about all the bad shit that’s happened. Let’s go back to the days before that. You wanted to feel…..

Loved? Accepted? Important? Cared about?

Right?

Well, you still want these things. We all do, and the only way you will get it is if you give it.

You can’t give it if you’re only focused on yourself.

“Yea but every time I give it I get screwed over.” yea yea… I know me too. Stop giving expecting everyone to return the favor. Just do it an know it will return one day, from someone, somewhere.

The more you care about yourself, the less time you have to focus on others. When you stop focusing on the needs of other’s you lose your humanity. When you lose your humanity, you lose your joy.

If you aren’t overcome with emotion for others, you’ve become disconnected. If you aren’t looking for potential in people, and fascinated by the people you come into contact with every single day, then you are way too focused on yourself.

The world doesn’t revolve around you, no matter whose trained you to believe that. When you open your eyes to the fact that there are souls out there desperate for the love, support and care you can give, you will begin to feel again.

That is where change starts. That is where joy is created. When you start looking to give something of yourself every single day to the person God sends for you to touch, you’ll realize that you’re truly not as lonely as you assume you are. 

5. Action

Okay.. so the last piece of advice is that you have to take personal responsibility for your actions. What are you doing on a daily basis?

If you want more out of life you have to do what it takes to get it.

This doesn’t have to pertain to only money either. If you want a better relationship with the person you love, you have to do what it takes every single day.

If you want to stop being broke, then you have to stop spending.

If you want to be healthier, then you have to stop overindulging.
If you want to grow, then you have to focus on growing.

Good intentions count for absolutely nothing.

DO!! Just DO!
Work at what you want every day. Don’t be lazy. Don’t make excuses. Make a change.

Don’t get to the end of your life and wonder if you have really lived!

Self control is one of the most rewarding characteristics, but it doesn’t come easy. It’s a mental muscle that you have to train. It will be hard. It will take time, but eventually the rewards will far outweigh the discomfort.

You never regret controlling yourself, but you will always regret wishing you had.

My last piece of advice is this:

You have to realize that when you plan to eat better, work out, save your money, etc… there will almost certainly be road blocks. You’ll be tempted. You may even have some unexpected expense pop up. This is bound to happen. I like to set  a “troubleshooting” plan or a back up plan.

I’ve gone to work with my kids. I have brought them to the gym. I have spent my savings on necessary things with the idea that I would rebuild it immediately, working extra hours. I work my plan even when it is hard, because I expect it to be.

The idea that I know that everything can go wrong, keeps me going when it does. So plan ahead so you can just keep going!