Paige Vidrine

Things are changing in my life pretty rapidly. I have met a few new friends in Ocean Springs who make me feel like I am home. I had a plan to go back to Lake Charles last weekend for the Granger Christmas Party. While I was packing Friday morning, I thought about just staying home. I had already promised friends that I would be in so of course I went to Lake Charles anyway. I just thought it was interesting that I didnt want to leave Ocean Springs in the first place.

My mental health is different here. I wonder now if it was something in the air or the bath water in Lake Charles. I am joking, maybe. Honestly, it could have simply been that I passed up the business of the person who traumatized me for years. Although I mentally knew it was all over and I moved on, my unconscious mind may have just been ringing the alarm bells this whole time. My body apparently needed a minute away from everything that I have been so familiar with for so long. Natural healing is occurring. I am not forcing it or chasing it. I just am following my heart and it’s releasing a balm.

Here, I feel clarity. I am dating, but it’s not fast. I dont kiss or really touch anyone at all. I have good connections, but I am not rushing. I am not desperate to fall in love or make believe for social media. I want friends for now. I see myself making lasting relationships. That takes time and trust.

It’s been a long journey for me. There are stages to being single and I think that I have already written about it. I am at the last stage where I really just dont care if they come or go. I have my friends. I am celibate at this point. The more spiritual I become, the more I realize that sex bonds people for life. Sex is a connection that I cant afford to make emotionally. I end up having a psychic bond for so long that it wears on me. At this point in the career path that I am taking, I really cant afford to be distracted psychically. So I am just coasting.

I will say this- The single men out here are different. They dont rush. Slow and simple is the energy with all of these men. They check on me without being too concerned if I message back. Nothing feels pressured. In Lake Charles, it felt like everyone wanted to get married before I could even remember their last name. Maybe there are more female options out here too. There are definitely more jobs. These men are chemists, scientists and skilled in other careers. I would never have assumed that the Mississippi Gulf Coast is a hub for professionals. It is. It’s a vibe.

The whole area is beautiful and it makes me really conscious of what I am creating in my own career. It’s required a lot of faith in my vision.

My faith has had to be radical because I faced a ton of fears. I was hard on myself. I wanted to go back. I wrestled with the deepest parts of Paige for quite a few months. I am thankful for the support system that I have. When I felt lost, they directed me back to center. Male and female, my friends bring an energy to my life that you cant pay for.

Life leads you down a winding path, but the most important thing to remember is that people are what makes the journey enjoyable. We need each other.

Speaking of a journey, I am surely on one. I have been doing this exercise where I size up the best and the worst case scenario so that I can live in a practical state while also using my faith to create.

Best case scenario, I finish my books and find a publication company who sees the vision for the inspiration that I carry. My social media pages grow dramatically to justify giving me a big author deal. I get asked to speak at large women’s conferences where I lead meditations. I help so many people step into their greatness. I get paid more money than most coaches to coach hourly. I have a massive membership portal. I travel to all of these beautiful places and hang with the most inspiring people in the world. Lives are changed!

Worst case scenario: I keep trying to build my coaching business and fail miserably, lose everything and can never recover.

The reality will sit somewhere in the middle of this. That’s how it goes in life. Many people believe that manifesting the best case scenario is the only proof of faith. However, I believe in upward momentum. I like the idea of being better than I was last year and building on the success that I already experience. I wont overestimate what is possible in a year. I wont underestimate what is possible in 3 years. In 5 years, I think I might have to expand my best case scenario. Slow and steady wins the race.

I know that. That is where my mental health game has changed. I have a lot more faith these days. The clients I have are seeing results. It’s building. What I really would like is to pick up a consulting gig with a corporation so that I can keep my client intake a little lower. I find that I provide the best results when I can spend time in meditation for each client. Regardless, I trust the process. I am learning a lot about my skill set as I take on more. I have no problem expanding, it’s just a matter of doing so that allows the optimum results for all involved. For me, it is really all about the service. If excellence isnt attatched to the service, then I want no part in that path.

This is what has made every endeavor I have touched successful– excellence.

For whatever reason, I bought the url http://www.codeofexcellence.com when I was in my 20’s. I was certain that I would publish a book called the “Code of Excellence”. I might, but it’s not time for that task yet. I need to focus on what I have now. I just got back from Lake Charles and it takes me a day or so to readjust. I have piles of laundry that I tackled last night. Then I made a crock pot soup so we can eat on that for 3 days. Once the house is organized, then I can think straight. Regardless of how much of a task it is to travel back and forth, I really do love all my friends. The experiences that I have back home are amazing.

At the Granger Christmas Party this weekend I met a woman who used to own a business downtown. She told me that she was always so impressed with how I showed up online to market Buffis. After hanging with me, she was so thankful to have met me. I know it was genuine but I didnt give her much to take away and she seemed so happy for the little bit of love I did give her. People like that are really angels in human form. There are some women who are so insecure that they make you feel uncomfortable in their presence. It will almost make you question whether or not something is wrong with you. That always gives me the ick. Good people are like salt. They make everything more enjoyable.

That was a small experience that brightened my night. After that, my friends and I shut the party down on the dance floor. It’s always a good time when we get together.

I do have to say that I am blessed. I could pick apart the frustrating things in my life like parenting alone, the financial responsibility, the fact that I have to be so tough, not having a life partner, etc… However, I am sure those things will change one day and I will so grateful that even when things were hard, I still found JOY. I have no doubt that life will always present the difficult things that help us grow. That will not stop me from loving even deeper, living a little more and smiling in the midst of the storm.

Here’s to growth and evolution.