Paige Vidrine

Hey my friend,

I’ve been in a deep transformational process lately and I haven’t had the space to write to you, but today is the day.

It’s so interesting to witness the thoughts that float through your mind when you’re high on life or triggered in stress.

It’s like having a library and on one end there are stacks of books about living a purpose filled life, being an inspiration and stepping in power. On the other end, there are compilations of victim stories much like something you’d watch on ID Channel.

To give you a tour through my internal library, let’s start with retreat.

My co-hosts and I with deepgypsea.com held a retreat at a beautiful mansion on the water in Ocean Springs, MS on June 6-10.

The miracles that unfolded were something we couldn’t have curated if we tried.

The women who came know exactly what I’m talking about.

It was life changing. I watched women fully unfold, bring their traumas to the table and transform in real time.

I watched as God showed them what it’s like to walk authentically and fully embodied.

I watched the windows of Heaven open and pour us out a blessing until it overflowed.

It was more than I expected, but that’s to be expected with God.

In this work I don’t make extreme promises like, “If you raise your vibration you won’t ever get sick! Follow God and you’ll have eternal life!”

I just know that when you allow yourself to break free from the patterns of the past, you illuminate the world with your inspiration and wonder.

Freedom is a beautiful thing.

I got a call before the closing ceremony of retreat to tell me that someone I care about had been in the hospital since day 1 of retreat.

“Get your butt over here.”, she told me. I left immediately. My things stayed strewn throughout the closet. I didn’t hesitate. I grabbed what I saw and hit the road.

When I arrived in Houston, I went to the local target to get a mattress topper because my loved ones don’t sleep well on hospital beds.

A few days later we left to wait on test results.

When I arrived back home, I stepped into Buffis, my 10 year old restaurant. My new manager cares and that’s a good feeling. He was recommended by Breezy, my Mississippi boyfriend. They have been friends since childhood. My manager, Keith came from Atlanta to run Buffis. He was a casualty of the corporate changes Red Lobster has been forced to make in this economic climate. He didn’t know me, but he trusted Breezy. I did too. So I put Keith up in a a one bedroom apartment next door to my house in Downtown Lake Charles. I paid a few months rent and got him to work.

When I arrived things were good but not excellent. He needed to know my standards and was ready. I pulled all the food out the cooler and told them to trash it. I want to start fresh on this day.

It’s been lovely to watch my place come back to life. It’s hard work, but nothing I’m unfamiliar with.

Not long after my arrival, my Deep Gypsea Co-Host and I hosted an ecstatic dance. It was amazing!

I’ve built quite a few businesses in the last 15 years and it’s always the same. You have to keep going even when the income may not be able to fully support your life yet. You have to live by the mission and vision. That has to be your spiritual sustenance as you grow.

That is what Deep Gypsea, the broader aspect to my Through the Paige coaching, is up to right now. It’s in its building phase. So multiple streams of income are a must for this single mom.

On another note, last year I was asked by the Hispanic Heritage Festival and a friend of mine to do a Latin Fest in Lake Charles. I really was hesitant because I had just broken up with my Latin boyfriend on Fathers Day. Although break ups aren’t easy, I just couldn’t see myself being a woman who pops up with a heritage festival and not including that person. It felt yucky. So I let God draw that line.

A few days after Fathers Day this year I got a call from a long time friend who is planning a Latin Fest with a bunch of leaders in Lake Charles. They wanted my input. So I went into the old James 710 for their meeting. I sat there with a group of leaders and shared my expertise freely. I told them how to utilize existing non profits, how to execute the meetings. I called up city hall and got preliminary approval for permitting right there at the table. I have no interest in putting my name on the Latin Fest banner or being known for being involved. But God had me sitting in a full circle moment with so much peace in my heart. Because spiritual maturity isn’t about not caring. It’s not about showing off. It’s about seeing your imperfections and realigning with your higher self. I trust the energetics.

On a different subject, I rent my house out downtown as an Airbnb and usually fully booked every week. It just so happened that the day the last guest left, Breezy came into town.

The guest sent me pictures of a leak in my AC unit. Luckily, Breezy is an AC guy. So he suggested we stay at the house while he fixed everything.

I gave myself a year to decompress from my burn out, heal my heart and finish my book. It’s been a year exactly and God is calling me home to tend to that which I care about most. I’m keeping my things in storage for now.

As fate would have it, my Airbnb guests cancelled for the rest of July so it was free. I hiked up the prices so if someone else booked it would motivate me.

A couple weeks before this, I got a request from a dear friend of mine to paint an abstract piece for her state of the art med spa opening in July in Lake Charles. Her and I have walked a beautiful journey together for 2 and a half years. I have been her resting place as she navigates her growth into this higher version of herself. It’s been an honor to be by her side as she’s stepped into full alignment.

When she asked for an art piece, I agreed and started working a digital abstract. When I got into Lake Charles to measure at her med spa, she told me “I want your strokes.”

I immediately became overwhelmed. How was I going to get this done? I breathed and trusted. I know how to navigate anything that comes my way.

It just so happened that the studio in the back of my house was free of Airbnb guests. So I called Magen up and asked if she could come as I worked. It had been a year since I painted in there.

When I walked in I felt activated, like a power ranger changing form. “There she is again.”, I said as I rolled out a 60×40 piece of canvas.

Magen and I tacked it to the wall because I didn’t have stretcher bars braced or the tools to brace them.

I stood in front of the canvas and called in my friends energy, her story, the parts no one knows but us.

This is what came up that night. It doesn’t seem like much, but it’s everything it needed to be. It’s the first strokes I’ve made on a real piece in my studio in a year. This is my heaven on earth.

I’m home in my studio. As Breezy and his lifelong friend, Keith, sat under my grapevine outside and me and my friend were in the studio creating miracles, I felt peace. I’ve never had anyone to share my home with in Lake Charles. I’ve never had a family of my own with a partner.

Having Breezy there felt right. It felt divine.

He’s such an anchor for me. He didn’t choose me like the last one, because of what he thought he can gain from me. He chose me without knowing anything. He chose me because of my light. He keeps it burning. When I need help, he comes through every single time to solve my problems. I’ve never had that. I’ve never felt protected like this.

We’ve navigated some rough waters in the last couple of months. Hard topics and rough breaks have come up. But he’s always there, ready to sail ship when I can see clearly. He’s a real man. There’s no machismo in him. Who he is to the public is who is behind closed doors. He’s shamanic. I’ll be crying and somehow he will make me laugh. He’s always stopping my victim stories and reminding me of my power.

I’m in love with him. Truly in love. It’s not a whirlwind romance for political purposes. It’s not a publicity stunt for the local restaurant scene. This is deep, soulful, divine connection. Breezy is everything I didn’t know I needed. I don’t even care to share publicly, because what we have is something I want to protect.

We are so different to the point where sometimes I can’t even understand his lingo. “What are you saying?”, I laugh. He loves our differences. It’s two worlds colliding in a harmonic that feels called. His heritage means everything to him. He sports a black panther hat. He knows his history. He is proud. And I’ll be honest, I was a little concerned with being the first white woman he’s dated. “Is my presence in his life authentic to his calling as a leader in his community?”, I thought.

Somehow God says yes. I don’t understand all the time, but that’s God. You don’t have to understand.

After Magen left our studio session, Breezy and Keith sat in front of my painting as I danced in my art. They did their best to relate. Then as I tended a fire I set in my 100 year old fire pit outside, Breezy just looked at Keith and said, “That’s her.”

It is me and for the first time in a relationship I feel truly seen. When I left my last situation because of the early signs of cruelty, I thought I’d never love someone that way again. I wept for months knowing what I left seemed like it could have been good for my life. I went back and forth in my heart and always settled on “You did the right thing!”

I trusted. Then Breezy came in and is showing me true divine masculinity. He’s holding me in my vulnerability and navigating my seas. He’s slow and steady🕊️.

Sharing my space with him has been lovely. He ended up getting a ton of calls from the Coast for his business so he left a day early and came right back a day later. In the meantime, I made calls to all my friends in town who gave him a days worth of work in Lake Charles. I want him near me. I need him.

It’ll happen as it should. Anyway, the night I started the painting, Breezy and I cuddled up on the couch as we sat looking at my art that covered my living room. When our attention was draw to a painting I had done in 10 minutes before I left for OS last year, I realized that canvas was the exact size I needed for my friends studio.

I call it my chakra painting. There’s so much energy. I made it in the energy of decision. It was calling in the future, all of the bliss and the joys.

I took it down and the next day and painted over it. I worked all day long to complete the painting.

I invited friends to the studio for a little reunion. We talked and laughed as I worked. It’s genuinely the best feeling.

My client said that all the art was being hung that Tuesday. I had just measured the wall on Sunday. So Monday was the day I executed. I didn’t want to be the missing link in the perfection of her project. That’s not my energy. So come Tuesday I walked into the MedSpa with a painting that was barely dried.

A few days later I met friends at Pujo St Cafe and got back to life in Lake Charles.

I’ve been urged in my spirit to come home for a short period of time to tend to those closest to me.

Plus my dad is getting older. When I visited for Fathers Day I realized that he needs me. So, it just hit me like a ton of bricks. The energy is turning and I need to ride this wave.

I couldn’t tell you what the future holds. I couldn’t tell you what tomorrow holds, but I know one thing. Joy always comes in the morning.

Although I haven’t had a second to truly decompress from the moment retreat started, I feel peace.

Life isn’t about everything being perfect and nothing going wrong. It is about doing this work so we can truly surrender in trust.

I have decided that when I step foot back in Lake Charles to live there for the first time in a year, I will be a change agent for the good of all. I will use my influence to bring peace. I will use my friendships to bring light. I will use my business to enhance the lives of anyone who exchanges their energy with me. I will come out of this time better than I came in. What I know is that I’m not called back for no reason. What’s coming is bigger than anything that’s come before.

I’m not the same women I was when I left. I’m bringing something back. I can’t wait to see what unfolds during this short time home.

Oh. This is my sons album cover! 😂

Here’s the song he made with Breezy.

Let me know what you think.