Paige Vidrine

A Vulnerable Man

I called a friend yesterday and heard him weeping over the phone. This is a strong man, the type you’d never expect to cry.

In his Nigerian accent he spoke, “This is part of awakening Paige!” I made out the words as they moved through his tears. Then I just sat quiet, allowing this pain to usher through his cells into the empty space that is our friendship. I know the journey into the underworld.

“How are you?”, I asked this morning.

“I am grateful.”, he replied.

He explained that we have to let ourselves feel the pain to move through.

I know this process all too well. After years of awakening and healing, pain has become a provider of wisdom and growth.

When we are on the path, we find one another.

Its not often that we are so fortunate to be a witness to man’s awakening, a safe space for vulnerability.

Our society often frowns upon such “weakness” in men. We cage them in their own sufferingng and then point the finger when they cause that suffering in women.

As I’ve grown and set boundaries around what a man can expect from a woman like me, I find myself as the witness to this process for many.

I see God using me not as a sexual vessel for weak men, but a holy one for those on a mission to uncover their light.

I do not look to a man to save me anymore. I hold my essence in purity, knowing only the God spark can save us. The Holy Spirit is the healer. I am just a vessel. The expectations have been tossed out of the window. I do not need a ring, a commitment, a kiss, a touch to Validate me in my strength as a woman. Honor for my boundaries is enough to gain my friendship.

This man, we will call him Spirit Man, has been just that. We talked about a relationship and he told me he wasn’t a faithful man. “I don’t want to lose your friendship by hurting you in that way.”, he said. Now he has a friend for life.

This has been my path and I honor it. It’s not about falling in love or meeting my person anymore. I asked God to take that desire away.

My connections are so much deeper. In small part, God has blessed me in this time to be a heart of a healing for the masculine.

Whether I am a key holder for their own awakening or the divine nurturer, I respect what is birthing through the co-mingling of pure energy and intentions.

It wasn’t just a few months before that I was walking down the street in Ocean Springs and stumbled on a mutual friend of mine and my ex. He was hurting. I prayed with him and saw a deep spiritual covering flood over him. Now he’s back in his passion with a newfound sense of hope.

Over and over again I’m the one that runs into the Spirit Men on their path to destiny. I didn’t see that being my journey, but I’m here for it.

I’ll never turn away a vulnerable man. Their healing is just what we need in this crazy world.