I cut up some onions, bell peppers and celery. Then I sautéed them in oil before adding some baby Bella mushrooms. I’m preparing a veggie soup for my friends. Falling into the role of house chef was natural for me when I arrived in Durango.
We ended up in a retro Airbnb in the middle of the city. The kitchen is small, which is inspiring for me. A well laid out small kitchen feels like cuddling in a warm blanket. It’s comforting. After a long day of travel yesterday, I decided to unwind by cooking. The first night I served potatoes stuffed with butter, cheese and seared steak. It was delicious.
Before the meal was served, I dropped everyone into an intention meditation where we called in the absolute best circumstances for ourselves.
Later that evening, my friends played music and then led us to the hot tub where we met some locals before we all ended the night in the sauna.
This morning we woke up, suited up and hit the slopes. I opted for lessons, which were much needed being that I have never done snow sports. We all met up at the resort restaurant at noon for lunch, which was a delicious salad we had prepped the night before. We wanted to keep it light so we could maintain our endurance for the slopes.
When we hopped on the lift, my nerves started jittering. You already know me. It takes a lot to scare me and I haven’t been fearful of anything in so long. I was scared today. Needless to say I busted my ass so much.
The group I was with are experienced snow boarders. At first they all opted to stay with me and guide me down the slopes. However, my stop and go method was impending on their shred. So the husband and wife of the group took off while my guy friend stayed behind as moral support for me. A few hours into our ride, I had wiped out enough to bust out of my skis and take a walking hike down the steep slopes.
The wipe outs became a joke!
I’d put the skis on again and wipe out over and over again. At one point, the child in me about had enough. “I’m sorry I feel like a 2 year old!”, I told my friend as I started cussing. The option to get snow patrol to pick me up was very real, but neither I nor he wanted me to quit. So I stuck it out, even if I had to walk a bit.
Towards the end of the run, I suited up and took off down the slope. I was going so fast without the ability to stop that I hit a hard 360 turn and wiped out. “That was a 360!”, my friend Julien said as he snowboarded down to meet me.
Although it was an intense fall, I got up and skied all the way down to the end. “I’m so glad you made it!”, my guy friend said as he grabbed my skis from my shaking hands.
It had been 4 hours of intensity. Four hours of wins and losses, four hours of complete surrender to nature. At one point there was a narrow path we had to shred down. On each side was a mountain side drop. As I pushed myself from one side to the other, I wept loudly.
“Awe! You’re that scared?”, my friend asked.
“Yes!”, I said through my tears as I continued down the mountain. “I’ll do it though!”, I sobbed.
Eventually the tears dried up and I was back at it.
On the ride home, I really contemplated willpower. As much as I wanted to quit, I refused. It hurt. My body aches. However, every time you complete something that you start, your spirit rejoices. No matter how you finish, finish! It’s a commitment to self. I didn’t care if I was the only person walking down the mountainside! I was getting down.
At one point I recall vividly making a choice of what attitude I was going to have during all of this. I had every right to bitch and complain. At certain time I couldn’t help myself. Then I’d hear me whine and it felt so unnatural. I always hate when I’m in the funk, even in normal life. So after an intense wipe out, I handed my skis to my friend and smiled. “I’ll do this with a good attitude!”, I said and strutted my ass down the slope. Eventually I started sliding on my back like a child and making snow angels. I found a way to bring myself higher.
The amount of Will I forced myself to have on that mountainside wasn’t about who I was with. It was about who I wanted to become for my own internal life.
I couldn’t help but size up my reactions to life when I am low. Most things I endure that send me into a bitch fit are pretty intense. But none of it compares to what I experienced today. It was helplessness on a whole other level. Yet, I relied on my people and made it fun.
That’s what I want to do with life. Its all about the people, the community.
We celebrated the win for all of us and hit the road back to the Airbnb after the run. The first thing I wanted to do was be in the kitchen so I whipped us up a delicious taco bowl. Midway through I realized we didn’t get sour cream from the store. So Julien suggested a Mayo based sauce. We all racked our brains as to what sort of mixture we could come up with before deciding hatch chilis in Mayo with a little hot sauce and salt would be the way to go. It was better than any sauce I’ve tasted in a long time!
Each of us fixed a bowl, then sat by the fire the guys made for us. Shortly after the boys and I went out to a local speak easy. It poses as a barber shop and bookstore. When we walked in the girl inside greeted us. My friend asked for a haircut. “I can only make you bald.”, she joked. Then my friend said the magic word and she escorted us into the swankiest bar I’ve seen in a small town.
We grabbed a seat in a cozy area. Then we all took turns reciting poetry to one another.
It was the perfect way to end a wild day. When we returned to the Airbnb, I put on a pot of vegetable soup for tomorrow night because I wanted it to cook down for quite a few hours.
As I sautéed the onions, celery, bell peppers and mushrooms, the smells filled the apartment. Everyone was in the kitchen with me, joking and singing. Amber made a pot of hot cocoa, Sean played the tunes and Julien doted on the women for making life so sweet. It was community, just how I like it. It felt like home, safe.
No one had special interests or needed to be accommodated. I didn’t have to go out of my way to please anyone. It was just easy, how I like my friendships. After all the ingredients were in the soup, I turned it down so it could simmer.
At first taste, I could recognize the flavor profile but the depth wasn’t there yet. It had me thinking about life. We can add all the right ingredients together, but depth is required for it to truly render its full potential.
I look back on my life and think of the lifetimes I’ve had all the right ingredients, a great education, opportunity, work ethic, intelligence—But over the years, I craved the depth that warms the soul like a good soup.
In that desire, I knew I wanted to make memories that would define my life experience. I don’t discriminate on those memories either. You can find me and my friends at rush lounge in lake charles tearing up the dance floor. You can find me hosting spiritual retreats with the most enlightened humans I know. You can find me busting my ass down a mountain with some of the most down to earth people. Give me all of it!
My flavor profile of life is broad. I want it all. I want to stay in a mountainside Airbnb and cook over a stove from the 70s. I want to listen to my friends play music. I want to hear the good and the bad jokes. I want to dance to the music of others souls. I want to speak Spanish with the Hispanics and salsa all night. I want to pray and meditate with the hippies.
I want the moments that make you forget about proving yourself, making money, growing, evolving. I want the moments that make you say, “If I died right now, I would be satisfied.”
I want friends that last a lifetime and new friends that come and go. I want adventure they make movies about and laughter that fills the soul. I want connections that people dream and stories left untold.
I want a life well lived! 💕
With the Deepest Love,
Paige Elliott
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