When I was younger, one of the best compliments was being told that I was beautiful. It made me feel special. Over time, I realized that people compliment what you put the most effort into, and for most single mothers and career women, beauty isn’t always top priority.
It’s said that the male gaze is lost for most women after the age of 30. I’ve experienced that loss as my smile has left evidence of its presence on my face. Smile lines are proof that with anything pleasant gained, there must be some sacrifice.
And Every great sacrifice leaves room for something beautiful to arrive. This is life. There is no escaping the way of nature: the cycle of birth, death and rebirth. In accordance, death is necessary for evolution. It comes in all shapes and sizes. It could be the death of the admiration of your physical beauty, opportunities , love, friendship, all of which eventually lead to the death of self. As painful as it may be, it is part of the natural order.
After all, “Excruciating pain is a good teacher”, they say. The classroom is often a battlefield of mind and spirit.
Sometimes death comes quickly like with heartbreak or tragedy. In other ways, death is a slow fade, similar to how gravity works in time to loosen the skin. Regardless, you wake up one day and realize that everything has changed or that change is necessary to create a better life experience.
In that way, you’re left to figure out how to make the most of what is present.
That challenge often determines your destiny.
To create a destiny filled with great joy, one must accept that great pain is a small price to pay.
It’s hard to see that when you’re in the midst of it. There are choice points through the valley. “Who will I become?”, is the question I often ask myself as I traverse the inner mine field that is death of self, hard times, grief or great challenge.
I have found that the only way to come out better than you go in is to focus your efforts on the energy you cultivate in the experience.
All great teachers have one thing in common, they are eternal because of the energy they have cultivated. As with Jesus, he illustrated the greatest sacrifice of all, death of self. What happened? He ascended to become pure energy. He did not run or try to escape death. He embraced it, sat patiently in the suffering. While on the cross, embracing his inevitable demise, he cultivated virtue. He could have begged for a different fate. He could have lost his integrity in the misery. Instead, he found the highest form of positive energy that he could in that moment. That was forgiveness. Then he left his dense human body and took the natural form of higher energy.
In the same way, we are challenged with every death we face, to call upon the highest form of positive energy we can cultivate in the battlefield of mind and spirit.
In doing so, one puts the effort into the energy body, the subtle unseen form of true self.
In that, the realization becomes that all death is a gift to guide us into spiritual ascension. As we lose that which tethers us to our human identity, we can gain that which is most important, energy.
“Thank you for your energy!”, Sean told me as we said goodbyes at the airport drop off area in Durango this morning. With tears in his eyes, he explained how my energy blessed him and his friends.
That compliment was far greater than being told that I’m beautiful.
As I sat at the departure gate waiting to board my flight, I couldn’t help but reflect on the experiences I’ve had on this spontaneous ski trip during the full moon in January.
“I wonder what God has for me out there.”, I told my friend before I left Mississippi. It all fell into place too easily for me to question the divinity of the experience.
The kids are well taken care of by their best friend’s families. My flight was free. The stay was as inexpensive as it could be when sharing an Airbnb with 3 other people. It was all orchestrated so well and because of that I knew something beautiful would come of it.
My first day on the mountain was excruciatingly painful both physically and mentally. I felt the cycle of death all four hours that I traversed the mountain terrain. At a certain point, I was forced to choose the energy I would walk within as I suffered, wept and moved patiently through the experience. I could have ran. I could have begged for relief. Instead, I accepted the challenge that was presented and asked myself over and over again, “Who will I become?”
In that, I found God within me, all around me and on the side of me. I understand even more clearly life, death, life- the creator, the preserver, the destroyer- The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit.
“Thank you for your energy.”, I was told after all of that. Wow! Over time, you realize that one of the greatest compliments you could ever receive is that of a compliment to your energy. Pain is a small price to pay for the spirit to be fully felt.
The experience of great loss is evidence to the energy one chooses to posses. In turn, it all boils down to virtue, choice and heart.
May we find the highest form of all in every obstacle we face.
Here’s to a life well lived.
With The Deepest Love,
Paige Elliott
Leave a Reply