Paige Vidrine

The house is a bit of a mess these days because I have spent the majority of my time preparing for the Yoga Fest, finishing my novel and working on the restaurant. I don’t believe balance is a real concept to try to adhere to. I work in energy and it flows in cycles. I invest a lot into the kids so that when I can’t, they don’t take it personally. I teach them as much as I can when I have the time so that they can keep the ship sailing when I am busy. They aren’t self starters when it comes to keeping the house clean, but at least they put their own laundry away and do the dishes. I’ll take that any day.

The book is coming along nicely. I write for 8 hour stretches. The next day I go back to the same segments with a new view. After I clean it up for another 8 hours, I go back over it again to replay it in my imagination. I picture myself in the frames. I am reminded of the many lessons that I learned over the years and how meaningful they have been.

The Yoga Festival is approaching so I am preparing for a deep energetic cleanse. I need to get organized in order to hold the deep space that I am preparing to maintain. Everything is aligned. It’s going to be amazing as usual.

Besides those things, I am really presenting myself with ample opportunity to learn a deep spiritual lesson. The gut doesn’t lie. I was thinking today about water.

You can take tap out of the faucet, a bottle of purified water and mineral water and set them on the counter. For someone who is used to tap water, they will choose that. Does the mineral water feel left out because it wasn’t chosen even though it is far more nourishing? No. I am mineral water.

Sunday I had coffee date with someone. He is an accountant, well connected and nice guy. I started yawning during the date and knew immediately that it wouldn’t work. My mind tried to rationalize, but my body knew. I had another date planned for lunch with a guy who owns an AC company. We will call him Breezy. I cancelled because I needed to write the book. Around 5, I wanted dinner so I told Breezy to distract me. We met at a place called Patio 44.

We got talking before I finally was fed up. “Look, I am actively dating and we all do the same thing. You put on your best self. I put on. Then we meet each other later. I want to meet now. This is who I am..” I began telling him about myself in the realest way. I told him what I want out of a relationship and how I expect to be treated. “I’ve never met a woman like you.”, he said.

We talked for hours. He didnt take his eyes off of me even when a beautiful, half dressed woman walked right past us. I was watching. He was locked in. His grandparents had been together for 60 years. The wife died and the husband died right after. They couldn’t live without each other. That’s what I want. “I have accepted the fact that I might be single forever.”, I told him. He was shocked. I am mineral water. It’s not for everyone.

The bartender gave me two free drinks. I lightly explained my magic. His sister is a Childrens social worker who just opened up a sound bath studio so he linked us up quickly. She is my vibe for sure. He gets it.

“I am manifesting my future with you.”, he text me before I went to bed that night. I had to break the news to him, “I just want you to know that I am still going out on dates. I don’t know you and I don’t invest my heart easily. I just need to be protective right now until you earn that place.”, I told him. “Thank you for your honesty.”, he replied.

He reminds me of the moon man. He makes music. He’s gentle. He’s a hard worker. I feel that energy between us. When I told him that I still had my options open, I knew I was taking the same risk I took with the moon man. I thought I might be messing everything up, but I knew I had to be honest. He’s confident that he will get my attention.

I told him he needs to make a calendar with pictures of the Gulf Coast to give to all his clients. On the first of each month he has to put his number “Time to Change Your Air Filter”. Then every six months put a reminder to service the unit.

“Why don’t we just get married and get rich together.”, he told me. “As long as you spend it all on me.”, I joked. “That’s a given.”, he replied. He hasn’t let off the gas even though I am not pressing it. I am cautious, but not nearly like I was when I met the moon man. I’ll never forget that lesson.

“Look, I messed up with someone I really cared about. So I communicate. I expect the same if you want me in your life.”, I told him at the first date.

“I know that feeling.”, he replied. We talked about the love lost. There’s no going back when you cross certain lines with valuable people. All you can do is hope to meet in another life on higher terms. Without those lessons though you wouldn’t learn.

“What do you feel about this?”, Breezy asked. “I want to spend more time with you.”, I replied. My body feels safe and the gut doesn’t lie.

Being a spiritual teacher and someone who has gifts isnt about being perfect and doing it all right. It’s about going through the process with an understanding that I am in the process. This is what it is. You get to watch that journey. The hard parts. The sad parts. The joy. This is life, through the Paige.

As I learn, I share. I am no better than someone with different circumstances. My goal is to constantly refine my nervous system, my mindset and my energy so that I can make a bigger impact in a positive direction in life.

That comes through experience. Speaking of experience. The same day I went on these dates, Gabe wanted me to take him to the gas station. When we pulled up he noticed someone selling crawfish out of a boiling room to the side of the gas station. “Bub, we have to taste them before I buy.”, I told him when he asked me to get us some. I am not about to buy Mississippi boiled crawfish on trust. “Can we taste one.”, Gabe said as soon as he got out of the car. A cute man turned around and offered one of his that he had just purchased. The connection between us was instant. His dad walked up behind us as we all got to talking about business and life. I gave his dad my name to find me on Facebook, because I am not going to look desperate by giving the son my information right away. Not two minutes after they got in the car, the son found me on instagram. We are going out Saturday. He’s a gentleman. I can tell.

I am keeping my options open not to self sabotage this time. I am just making sure that I move intelligently. I am mineral water. I will bless anyone I am with. Can they bless me is the question?

“I came out here for a year following my spirit. I may go back or something really magical might keep me here.”, I told Breezy. “Oh yea. You’re not going anywhere.”, he replied. “I knew when I met you that I couldn’t approach you the way I approach other women. There’s a lot of the same thing. You are authentic. You’re special.”, he continued.

I remember when those words used to terrify me. I was so afraid to be seen. I remember every single moment of anxiety when that real love tried to open me. I am a different woman now. Although I have learned my lessons, I am not rushing. I am letting the connections come or go. I am allowing them to show me what it is that I need to explore within myself. Whether it last for a week or eternity is not up to me. You can’t fight fate. So I just allow myself to surrender and fall into whatever is best for me. It’s all a mirror of how I feel about myself.

Everything I say “Yes” to is a reflection of my self worth. Everything I say “No” to is a reflection of my self worth. It’s up to me to listen to the inner guidance.

After all, the gut doesn’t lie.