Life is moving fast these days. I went straight from the festival into Holiday mode as the family came to Mississippi to celebrate Easter. It’s Eclipse season and anytime light is blocked it’s time to pause. I feel this pause happening right now.
I haven’t had the time or space to write to you lately and today would have been another full throttle until I crash kind of day. However, I need to stop to write for my own mental health. So here I am, Through the Paige.
As this list grows, it makes me more and more conscious of my intentions. As I tend to pour my heart out, I am becoming more and more aware of the risk of that vulnerability. However, I still feel led to be honest. So that’s the path I choose.
First, I wanted to share a few moments that occurred recently that really touched my heart. One of which happened at the Yoga Fest. A woman and I were talking before she told me that she is part of my email list. She continued to say that she recognizes that I write from the heart, that I am not a vanity writer and that my work is touching. As I listened to her express her sincere appreciation for this work, I couldn’t help but be overcome with gratitude.
I do not write to make myself look good. I write because I have to share my journey. It’s therapy for me in a sense. To know that people see my heart and relate to my story is a gift. I could sit up here and pretend that I know everything. I could easily write up a 5 Step How To Be a Boss essay. However, the reality is that I am not always a boss. Some days I am weak. I have mental health days. I am not always on. I am all things woman and I am proud of that range. I am so proud that I share it unashamedly.
That conversation at the festival was such fuel for the path forward. Now that the festival is over, I am back to work with clients and retreat planning. Speaking of clients, my coaching skills are rapidly increasing and I did not even realize until today. I have another therapist who sees me and she told me today that my work is like therapy. It is. In the middle of my session I began to see her circumstances clearly. I felt it. I knew it. I received it. That was the first time a sense had come on in a session so strong that I didnt question it.
I am excited about what I offer my clients. It’s miraculous.
On top of client work, I am going to start recording content again this coming week. I post enough in bulk that it carries over and gets views for a few weeks. This helps me maintain my peace being that living on social media really isnt healthy for me.
I am learning how to pace myself even though I am an animal when it comes to business. The ebbs and flows keep me healthy. I am thinking about the rooted approach to everything that I touch.
Enough about work!
Let’s talk about love… That’s more exciting anyway. So, you know that Breezy came out to Lake Charles for the Yoga Fest. It’s been beautiful ever since.
This man cherishes every single part of me. I am not talking about cherishes me just so he can make me fall in love either. We have hard conversations. We talk about out traumas. He listens to me. We have a deep connection.
He believes in the Paige Portal so much that he tells his friends that they have to meditate with me just so they can feel my energy. He takes care of me.
This is easy. It’s scary in a sense, but we aren’t running from it. I know that surprises you because I am so good at running, but this guy doesn’t give me any reason to. He’s spiritual. He believes in karma. He has a conscience. He’s my Mississippi Man.
“Whatever we have to do to keep you happy.”, he says to me. I have never in my life been treated this way. He is a talker so if something is wrong, he speaks up. I love it. There’s no confusion with him. He actually cares about me and my work. He sees what I offer this world.
He’s something special.
I look forward to sharing more stories about this adventure as they develop. As of right now, I am just enjoying the flow forward into his arms.
Before I go, I want to tell you one more story. Today I was so tired that I could barely function. I slept in my car in the parking lot at Walmart. Welcome Luteal Phase exhaustion in the middle of Eclipse Season. I went home quickly to nap and woke up in a panic. I don’t ever sleep during the day because it makes me feel useless to be honest. So when Breezy Called I felt panicked and couldn’t manage the conversation. All I wanted to say was, “I need your help.” What came out was a jumbled mess of emotional avoidance. “You need to articulate.”, he told me after I hung up on him only to call him right back. “I am having a hard time saying I need your help right now.”, I responded. “Take out those first words because you said it. Just say it.”, he instructed kindly. “I need you.”, I replied. “Say less. I am coming.”, he sighed before heading my way. Now he is in the room with Gabe making a rap song with my son.
I hate to get the kids involved early with people, but truth be told, it feels right. He didnt force that like that last one. It happened naturally. I need help out here and I can’t keep denying that and trying to be superwoman. So here we are.
Not to compare, but in my last relationship when I had my emotional moments I was told, “I guess I will be the mentally stable one in the relationship.” Theres a reason that I left him in a matter of weeks. I couldn’t even imagine Breezy saying anything like that to me. He needs to hear me out and wants to feel what I am feeling. He’s a true soul in this world. I am taking it fast/slow and I can truly say that it feels really good.
Get some rest this eclipse season. It is hitting hard! Have the conversations, but don’t make any major decisions. Play it cool. The light will return soon.
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