I didnt really understand intuition until my Spiritual Awakening. The spiritual gifts were coming online and it felt like a breakdown in my psyche. I learned later that this is called the Dark Night of The Soul. It forced a radical deconstruction of my beliefs and mindsets. It brought me down to pure soul and from there I have done the hard work of reconstructing what was left of me.
I began coaching, because of a calling within my spirit. I knew that there were others on this journey who wanted clarity and needed support. Along the way, clients from all walks of life have received the gift of intuitive healing, encouragement and guidance that I provide. I don’t ask my clients to be like me, because just like the rest of us, I am human. I know how to step out of the way though. That is the gift I give my clients.
These gifts came at a cost. At one point I prayed that they would go away. I didnt want to be awoken by dreams of the future. I didn’t want to be inundated with so much energy I didnt know what to do with it besides paint, create and serve.
I wasn’t a big believer in opening myself up to anything that wasn’t in my traditional programming. That is until I was forced to open. The hands of God ripped my psyche in two and breathed life into my being. Every time I had a spiritual experience, I prayed that Christ would stand in protection and I followed this path that was laid out before me. I felt the presence time and again. Christ came in meditations and dreams. The connection is unreal.
People look at me and wonder where I get my energy. It’s a connection to the divine. I’ve been on a meditative journey that has been so intense that I stopped meditating for a week here and there. But every time I stopped, the anxiety of the disconnection forced me back to the state of awareness.
I’ve seen three psychics who don’t know each other. Each session they express their overwhelm with the energy that surrounds me. I have learned to live with it. It’s been that way my whole life.
In those meditations, Ive had vision after vision of what needs to be done. When I execute, I produce massive leaps in service and deed. Has it been exhausting? Eh… About as exhausting as it would be to live whole heartedly for a purpose. The passion keeps me moving. I am tired when I am out of alignment. I felt that burn out in my hometown. I didnt know alignment was created in the energetics of a city. I learned when my intuition guided me to move. I have the freedom to live as I choose, being that I am tied down to anyone.
I’ve been single for 3 years, dating briefly ever so often. The more inner work I do, the better my options become. Those who have pursued me are of the highest quality, especially for the small town I was living in.
But I haven’t been ready to love, even though I desired it deeply. I was lonely, desperate for someone to anchor me in this work. Then Spirit sent Dr. Larry, the neuroscientist who proved that the power of consciousness exists in a science experiment. He has been a spiritual father to me, a great friend. Then I was sent another friend who understood my journey deeply. Every time I needed someone, they arrived. And the saga continues. My soul family keeps coming.
I thought these connections would be in the form of true love, but I am not sure that I care if that exists anymore. My connections with many different people is true love in different forms. Plus, My love for myself has grown so strong over the last few years that I don’t desire a life partner like I once did. These soul connections are so satisfying. As you grow closer to your intuition and you watch how the power within you grows, not just anyone could satisfy the soul connection needed to spark the match within you.
I am not ready for a partner. My intuition needed me to be alone for a little longer. It felt like punishment, but now I realize that it was protection. I was making what seemed to be poor decisions in giving up opportunity for love, but all along, I was being guided. It all led me here, to a new city with big energy.
That’s the thing about the intuition– it doesn’t always make sense to the naked eye. That’s because they’re so much more going on in the spiritual realm than we could ever imagine.
In my journey to heal, my intuition led me into meditative states where I was shown the deep past and the deep future. Time after time, the future vision came to pass. The past was dissolved. I was constantly led to the people and the resources I needed to traverse the healing journey with about as much grace that could be offered to someone who was quickly dissolving karma and moving towards rapid evolution of awareness.
The things I have seen in mediation are similar to stories later told to me from people who have experienced medicine journeys, leading to their enlightenment.
And although I have an adventurous spiritual life, I am still deeply rooted in this physical reality. I own a restaurant. I coach. I am a mother of two.
At a certain point, I wondered why Spirit was leading me down this path. It was frustrating because I know how to mindset myself to productivity. Why did I have to see the future and the past. Why do I feel the people I love from hundreds of miles away. Why did these gifts have to inundate me with this much energy all the time? What is it all for?
Service. I know that without a shadow of a doubt. It is for the greater good of all as that is my main intention every single time I meditate.
As I clear the karmic cycles from the past and make conscious decisions in the present, I align with the intuition that is guiding me to my highest path.
I have been clearing my channel unknowingly for years. I have been making energetic space for my Spirit and the connection to the Holy Spirit.
I don’t highly recommend the journey inward to just anyone. I understand most spiritual people advocate for everyone to follow their path. I am not that person. You have to find your own path, because what I have endured is not for everyone.
Have I grown? Without a doubt. The tools needed to keep me healthy, I searched for with persistence and resilience. The pain I faced in order to ascend as quickly as I have has been unreal.
To be betrayed, to be abused, to be forgotten, to be unseen and hurt to the core, isn’t easy to get over. I don’t think I am over any of it though. Instead it is within me. I have turned the pain I have faced into light. It has become my service, translated in the art. I anchored myself in the present as I dealt deeply with the past.
I never understood why I was so fascinated with Carl Jung in my late 20’s, but now I see. The journey was calling me into a deep exploration of the psyche and the soul. I was facing myself and essentially, Spirit was sending me guides that I could reference along the way.
There have been many, but none quite like the intuition. I listen as the voice grows stronger. I get out of the way. I practice turning off the mind as if I was turning off a generator so I could hear someone more clearly.
I am at a place now where I am done with the “healing”. Maybe not forever, but I am on an intuitive journey of surrender so I trust the process.
At this point, I am in full send towards my higher destiny. I have an idea of what that looks like as I have been shown many times over in meditation. However, all I can do is take one step at a time.
If anyone were to ever ask me, “How do I grow my intuitive guidance?”, without sending them down the rabbit hole of “healing” I would say:
- Self Love: The more you love yourself the more your trust yourself.
- Emotional Awareness: The subtle energy body of emotion is a layer within your field that needs to be cleared and healthy.
- Healing Past Traumas: I highly recommend praying for guidance around your healing journey. Once you start asking, the right people will come into your life to help. Ask for what you can handle. Take it one day at a time.
- Listen to the Body: The body will speak to you. The little aches are signal to listen. Stagnant energy is held in the body, so healthy movement and stretching is important.
- Practice Listening: Develop a practice of listening and obeying the intuition. It’s like a muscle. The more you listen, the stronger the voice grows.
- Give yourself permission: Let go of the the things that held you back, and give yourself permission to step into your greatness.
- Make time for your spiritual practice: Your connection is key here.