I had a date with a beautiful man last night. He planned everything and told me where to meet him. When I pulled up to the chic, dimly lit restaurant, the hostesses were bustling around before noticing me by their station. “How many?”, one asked.
“I am meeting someone.”, I said.
“Is it a tall man?”, she replied.
“I guess you could say that.”
She took me to his table, but he had gone to the restroom. I politely suggested that he could come get me from the front. I was uncomfortable sitting at a table without knowing for sure that it was his. How hilarious would that have been if a stranger walked up and saw me sitting there!
My date found me, walked me to the table and pulled the chair out for me. He was a gentleman. I was myself, fun loving and free. He would smile real big at me when I would laugh at my own jokes. Then we got on the topic of religion. He’s a southern baptist through and through. I let him talk about how he thinks Jesus is perfect and he strives to be like Christ. That has to be an exhausting way to live.
Then I went on to tell him that the last thing that I strive for is perfection. Excellence is more my preference. I believe that Christ wanted us to follow in the example of love and the way he was as a source of power. I made this man uncomfortable. He might as well have crawled out of his skin. He tried to rationalize his discomfort, because he likes me. “Are you comfortable if I don’t agree with you?”, he asked.
“Absolutely.”, I told him.
When dinner was over, my body felt drained and I took that as an intuitive sign that it was time to go. So we parted ways after he walked me to my vehicle.
As soon as I got in the car I called my good friend Whoa-se. “Yo! I just went on a date. I don’t understand why my beliefs make Christians uncomfortable. I am one of them.”, I said.
He laughed at me. Then he sent me the Dave Chappell skit that showed him as a blind black man who was part of the white supremacy. “You are Dave Chappell. You are not one of them!”, my friend told me before continuing, “They would have burned you at the stake!”
It had me deeply contemplative. I am a believer. I see Christ in my meditations. I read the Bible and feel grounded. I guess I just don’t understand why my broader understanding is scary to people. I feel like this is exactly what Jesus was living.
My date told me, “That’s just how I was trained.” That was an interesting way to describe a belief system. It is a training. At a certain point, you have to go beyond training.
It’s all so interesting.
I wasn’t brainwashed by some other culture to believe the way that I do. I was hurt and I turned to God and these revelations came to me. I went through hell and found my way out through service. There was no magic button. I dove into my heart and found faith. A preacher never showed me this way. God did. I asked for Christ to walk with me and I was held.
This Spiritual Awakening has been one of the hardest things I have faced. It’s not an easy terrain. I know that I was chosen for this path so that I could help people. The feelers, the sensitive type, the trauma victims who are slowly awakening and dont know what to do– these are my people. I am a guide, being called to people who need help awakening the deeper parts of themselves. It’s scary. I remember the feeling when it first began. I am thankful now to be used as a vessel to help those who need support in trying times.
It’s interesting that in some people’s eyes, I am a walking miracle. In other’s eyes, I am a shame.
The reality is that I had to stop playing politics a long time ago. I know who I am.
I find it all so bizarre. Our belief systems make us feel good for the moment, but under it all the Spirit is crying out for more. We separate ourselves over beliefs and opinions, when we are so lonely and desperate for love.
As I evolve and mature, even within this time that I started writing to you, I see myself more clearly. In order to love on a deeper level, I have to let go of everything in the past. I forgive myself. I forgive those who have hurt me. That’s the only way forward.
As my Spirit clears, I am able to listen even more deeply to my body. Cleansing my body allows me to control my mind. They work together to move me forward to something deeper. Who knows what the future holds?
All you can do is trust.
Also, I have learned a lot since I showed up in Ocean Springs and I would love to share:
- Take Care of The Body: I began studying experts in human physiology recently and one of them mentioned how important it is to take Methylated Vitamins. https://a.co/d/0rKLHNd & https://a.co/d/5Gh8KHb —–> These two have changed my brain chemistry. Also, a high protein diet has gotten me mentally healthier than I have been in years. I am no physician, but I would highly recommend 30g of protein at each meal and methylated vitamins once a day. I also drink mushroom coffee & a few other adaptogens. Adding these things to my lifestyle has made me grounded.
- Stretch & Massage The Body: There’s so much energy stored in the fascia. Stretching and massaging the body help to release all of that. I highly recommend.
- Mental Detox: Look at and listen to things that influence your highest way of thinking and feeling. Learn yourself. Which songs bring out the best feelings in you? Which shows make you feel grounded? What do like to think about? What makes you healthiest? Consume those things.
- Breathe: The more I focus on breathing into the nose, the more I feel peace even in chaotic situations.
- Ground: There is nothing like standing on the Earth barefoot.
P.S. I checked the stats on these emails. With nearly 400 people on this list and a 75% open rate, I just have to say wow. You mean something to me. This journey has just begun. I am starting all over, fresh. I am reinventing the way that I do business so that I can live in my purpose. I didnt expect 10% of the people on this list to open these emails. Im realistic when it comes to numbers. So I scoured through my website to find out where the mistake was. Nope. Some emails have an even higher open rate and they keep growing every week. That to me says, “Keep Going”.
So just know that every ounce of support you show me, keeps me going. As I discuss this new path, many people in my life have different ideas of what is to come. I told a good friend, “I just need people to give me one shot. After one coaching call, I trust that they will know the energy I carry. I have seen it time and time again. You wouldn’t believe what I used to do to get business at Buffis. I was relentless. Shit, to get business at the daycare I owned, I used to stand outside Market Basket and hand out flyers to the mommas who would be walking in with their kids. I am not scared to put myself out there, because I know that everything I put my energy to is of substance. You just gotta find out for yourself.
I am preparing for speaking engagements. I am wide open now. I know what needs to be done. I am training, focusing and working. It will come. I trust. It’s hard sometimes to believe that starting over is the right answer when I have worked 8 years at something else. However, I know exactly who I am now. Just to know that you are on this journey with me makes me feel so thankful. What would I be without a reader? What would I have to give without someone to receive? You are more important for this journey than you will ever know. Thank you for everything. Thank you so much. I am excited about what is to come. Please, bring high intention. With the collective love we share, something beautiful has to come. I dont know how. I have no clue when. I dont know anything except how to show up every single day. So here goes everything.
I love you deeply,
Paige Elliott
Leave a Reply