It was 2018 and I had just gotten word that a building on Ryan Street in Lake Charles, La had become available. I jumped at the chance to rent the space and turn it into a Buffis Peauxboys location. I had to expand from my HWY 14 location for a few reasons. One is that the neighborhood was getting bad. Another is that I had made the business so busy that there was no space to hold the supplies that we needed in order to keep up. I was using my old minivan as a temporary storage unit as I figured out what to do. The Ryan Street location was our best option, so I jumped on it quickly.
It was a lot of hard work preparing the space to open. I couldn’t afford an architect to create the plans needed to get fire Marshall approval, so I downloaded an app and made them myself. Everyone was shocked when I was quickly approved for construction. I turned an 8 month project over in 3 months so I could get open and make my money back quickly. I was driven, passionate, excited.
When we opened the doors we had to do a mass hire because we had gotten so busy. One of the new employees, we will call him Big John, was an interesting character. He was a handsome mixed guy, big and teddy bear like in his appearance, not so much in his spirit. He was quiet. Everyone thought he would be on the team forever. I knew there was something dark about him. Someone who is too nice has many demons. My sister walked in one day and said that he would be like one of the most faithful employees at Steamboats. When she named the guy she was talking about, I immediately became suspicious. I didnt trust him at all.
After quite a few weeks of working with Big John, he started to become irresponsible with me. He would show up late, barely work. So one day when he came in late I told him I didnt need him anymore. He looked me in the eyes with a killer’s glare. Hair raised on my body. So I put my things down, stood right in front of him and gave him the same eyes back. Who would blink first? It wasn’t going to be me. I took a deep breath, shrugged my shoulders and pierced his soul with my eyes. I was not going to let someone intimidate me in my own business. People think because I am nice that I will let them walk all over me and that’s just not the case. He folded and walked away.
A few nights later I had an alarm sound at Buffis in the early hours of the morning. I had been broken into. I called my closest employees to start investigating. They were out of bed at 2am, on the hunt. Sure enough, it was certainly Big John. I had one guy pass by his house the moment I got the call from the alarm company. He wasn’t there. They were friends so they canvased all his spots. NOPE. He was nowhere to be found. “Take Pictures.”, I said. I called the police the next morning and they did just enough to tell me that they couldn’t help me. I presented the evidence and they wouldn’t go and talk to Big John. I was furious. I was in danger and I knew it. This was just the beginning and I needed Big John to know that I was protected. Because the police force wouldn’t interrogate him, I called the local news station to do a story. My mom called me before I went on the local news station with my story about the police. She told me, “Don’t do it! You’re going to ruin your reputation.”
On air I told everyone the police was doing very little to protect me. I got a call from the police chief right after. “What do you need?”, he asked.
“I need an investigation.”, I told him. They had officers at my place shortly after. “Just go talk to him.”, I asked. I just wanted Big John to know that I knew it was him and that he is under investigation. They talked to him. That was enough for me. I just needed him to know that I knew. I had no doubt that I had to do what I did. It worked. Is that crazy or genius? I didnt care about my reputation. There were other things more important at the time.
Someone called me once to tell me that an old friend was talking poorly of me. I laughed when this friend expressed her concern by what they were telling people. “Be worried for me when there’s a real threat.”, I said. Many people in my life do not understand the level fear I have faced. What worries many people does not worry me. I don’t even entertain talk. That’s child’s play. If it’s incessant, I let an attorney handle it. If it’s unwarranted, I’ll face the talker myself and say what I have to say to make peace. If it’s ridiculous, I move on.
People talk all the time.
You see, if you are to focused on the bad things people could say about you, then you distract yourself from the good that is right in front of you. There is always something to build upon, learn and grow from.
We go through seasons. We kill off the old parts of ourselves. We let go of what doesn’t serve us. We dig deep to find our strengths. We harness our power. You just have to stay in your sense of center. Remind yourself that this too shall pass.
I remember when I came out as bisexual. That is all people could talk about. Twenty thousand people read my blog about falling in love with a woman. My mom got phone calls all day. It was a story. Now I meet people who would never guess I am bisexual until I tell them. Nobody cares anymore.
I have learned that people care about things until they don’t. It really doesn’t matter. The more you focus on trying to alter other’s perspectives, the more energy you put into the things you wish other’s would forget about. Time tells, forgives and creates new meanings and stories.
I watched two people get into a confrontation recently. One was triggered and trying to control the situation. I de escalated everyone and the situation was calm right after. Then I sat with the man who was triggered and he told me, “I don’t like to be perceived in the wrong way.” “You do more damage trying to control perception than you would if you breathed into the discomfort of the misunderstanding.” , I told him.
Let people have their thoughts and feelings. They will pass just like yours do. Keep being awesome. Focus on your energy and what you want to feel. Don’t try to control what others feel about you. Everyone’s perception of you is going to be different. Some people think I am extreme. Some call me passionate.
Some people think that I am crazy. Some say I am genius. Some people think that I can be harsh. Some call me strict.
None of it matters.
I have learned time and time again that there is no rule book for life. There is no perfect way. I never wanted to ask for help. Now I ask for help from everyone in my community. I used to hold on tight to love. Now I let it go when I know it won’t bring out the best in me.
People change. Priorities change. Perspectives change. I was so excited about Buffis on Ryan St. I couldn’t wait to franchise the business. A few years went by and I promised myself if I was ever given the chance, I would go back into a small place like I started with on Highway 14. Although Ryan St was beautiful and successful, it was so hard to manage. The money was great, but the headache was greater. I would do it all over again just to learn the lesson that bigger isnt always better. That doesn’t mean that I won’t go bigger again one day. It’s all about the calling within, listening and trusting yourself. You think you want one thing and it turns out to provide you with something even greater that you needed instead.
When the Hurricane took the place, I told myself that the only way I would open back up is if I had a small hole in the wall spot. All you need is a couple employees and decent storage. The downtown location fell into my lap and that’s all she wrote. Every experience teaches us something. People think that one day they will have a big break and be so happy. It’s not like that. At every stage, you meet yourself over and over again. You revisit the same thoughts and experiences from different perspectives and different energy. You expand to contract to expand again. There is no end game. I have been in the room with a billionaire grieving the loss of his brother the same way that I grieved my brother’s death– by working and serving. I have sat in the room with millionaires who are sorting out relationship conundrums the same way I have in my life. We are all so similar. If you look into each other’s eyes, you see yourself in some way. I remember when Big John stared at me with a dog in his eyes. Equal energy awoke within me to figure out what to do. If you trust yourself, you will always find the answer within.
Trust… that seems to be the theme of life these days.
On a different note, my romantic life is taking a interesting turn. I pursued a different type of person. I pursued something that is foreign to me. Resting in that has been so healing. There is nothing serious happening. There is nothing really to write about. What is present is a healthy and simple dynamic that is teaching me so much about my patterns.
Speaking of patterns,
How easy is to break them? It’s actually been a crazy journey, breaking patterns. Have you ever been to an escape room? I was in one and there was a puzzle we had to solve in order to find the next clue. There were about 8 pieces missing but we only found 6. I was so frustrated trying to make the 6 work. Finally I got them into place, but then I was irritated that I couldn’t find the other two. I had everyone searching. I needed them! I was certain! You could not convince me that I was wrong. I knew that once we solved the puzzle we would be in alignment with what was coming next. Then my friend stopped everyone. She realized that the 6 pieces were just enough to show us which direction we needed to point the keys in the door in order for all the locks to work at once. All we needed were the pieces that were present and new perspective. This is life. Our patterns make us believe that we have do it the way we KNOW it must be done. Opening the mind to a different perspective is actually pretty emotional even it’s easier, more simple or even better for us. It’s hard to convince ourselves of this when we are on the search for security, answers, the way we KNOW is right. Sometimes we just have to back up and rest in the fact that this is what we were given and somehow it must work for us.
Choosing to pursue this romantic interest of mine doesn’t mean that this is forever for me. It is me working with the six pieces of the puzzle to open a different door within myself. This is me setting a new pattern in place. I am not looking to the future, past the door I used to run into. I am simply getting present to what is present so that I can rewrite the patterns I have KNOWN for so long. This requires patience. Who I was when I stared Big John down is not who I am now. Who I was when I ran towards red flags in people like it was an amusement park for my heart is not who I am now. In time, everything changes. The more you contemplate, the quicker you’re able to find the direction in which this new key must be turned in order to open the door that awaits.
With The Deepest Love,
Paige Elliott
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