Hey My Friend,
Things have been moving quickly over here in Mississippi. I have so much to write, but I am working with limited time these days. I have been hyper grounded though and that’s a different experience. Although it feels amazing, it is awkward. I no longer feel like I am traveling at warp speed. Now, I just feel like I am coasting in the water.
It’s wild how weird it feels when you’re so used to chaos. I think sometimes that I need some sort of chaos to thrive. It’s why I am so good at big projects and events. If I don’t have that, somehow I subconsciously create chaos, which is very inconvenient. I am learning that it is just an energetic thing. The energy within me has to go somewhere.
This full moon had me deep in an energetic vortex. I told Breezy that I needed a few days of space so that I didnt bleed onto him. The full feminine expression can be quite overwhelming and I just wasn’t ready for him to see me at my lowest emotionally. I tried my best to communicate the space I needed, although it sounded harsh.
I came home to all his things gone and his key sitting on my dresser. “Are we over?”, I asked. “I was preparing for worst case scenario.”, he told me. I guess I could have eased his anxieties a little better than I did. We are definitely not over. We are just learning one another. It is an interesting adventure to say the least. Part of me has no desire to put my energy into a relationship. The other part of me sees just how good he is for me and my kids. Quite frankly, I adore his spirit too. Losing him would be like losing one of my best friends. Before I let them go, we are working this thing out. So we worked it out.
“My body is experiencing anxiety. It happens to me. I didnt want you to see this side of me.”, I told him vulnerably as I laid on his chest this morning. He moved his hands around my head like a shaman. Then he placed both hands on my crown and said, “Peace.” I felt better. “We just have to keep you in the space you were in yesterday when you left the meeting with the sound guy.
I was inspired, as I usually am when I am working. Breezy’s sister was called to expand her counseling services by adding sound healing. She’s a very successful woman in her own rite. Her path reminds me a lot of my own. I had the business. Then God called me to the soul work. Before she met me she had planned on doing a grand opening event on the beach for her sound healing. She thought it would be something small that she would expand over time. Shortly after we met, their family attended the yoga fest. When we all got back to Mississippi, she invited me in to help her with her grand opening. I quickly expanded it by inviting the SWLA YOGA FEST crew to bring their medicine. From there, I invited the main yoga studio in Ocean Springs to participate and she quickly agreed.
I realized quickly that we needed someone who could do the sound. Not a week later, someone randomly reached out on instagram to offer their services. We met yesterday and it was perfect. He is an engineer who is investing in his sound business. He has lights, speakers, mic… everything we need. 50+ people are already pre-registered. Breezy’s sister is excited to say the least.
I didn’t know what was going to happen when I moved to Mississippi on whim in July of 2023. All I knew is that it was time to go. Had you told me I would have fallen in love with a Shamanic man whose sister would offer me the opportunity to serve my soul medicine on the Gulf Coast, I may have just laughed. But here we are. The synchronicities that occur while you’re going guided are unmistakable. God responds.
Im not even going to lie to you and say that I have had unbeatable faith this entire time. I have been lonely. I missed home. I still do some days. I felt scared at moments. However, I knew all of that was my mind. I knew that what I experience emotionally is just a wave. I try not to identify too much with it. All I need is a big project to keep my energy flowing.
Staying in a trust fall is definitely a process. Here’s to falling to flow.
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